Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
