I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
