Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
