New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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