people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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