if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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