Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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