I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
