Me. At least after what I've been through.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
