pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
