I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
