I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
