we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize