I think I died a long time ago.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
