Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
