Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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