____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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