Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
