Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
