I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Randomize
