now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
