I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
