I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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