$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize