Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
