How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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