For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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