she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
