Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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