its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
