She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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