So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
