Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
