Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
