I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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