I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
