I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
