I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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