I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
