Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize