I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
