Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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