it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
