I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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