So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
