Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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