If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
