Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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