Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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