Its about making memories worth repressing
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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