Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
