i jhust puked up my retainher.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
