just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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