I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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