Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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