I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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