Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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