The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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