Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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